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A Conversation Between Us

by Small Talks

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1.
(Hey look, I’m supposed to play a record for you) Last night we were driving around, you said keep your window down. You wanna hear all the sounds. God, I move too slow. My hand on the radio, don’t wanna take you home. Everything feels new to me. I hope you don’t see. All that you do does something to me, can’t let you have this power over me. You swear I’m crazy, but you think I’m better for it. Always chase what I want, you think I’m better for it. You’re underneath my skin, I don’t let anyone in. I wanna fight, I wanna fight about it and then I breathe you in. Just like I’m young again, you’ll never let me win.
2.
Oceans 03:54
I followed the red flags all the way to you, saw your warnings and we did what we do. I left before you could tell me I’m not right for you. I always miss the punchline while I’m dreaming in the details. You said no strings attached as I was tying weights around my ankles for you. I jumped in all your oceans prepared to drown in you. I didn’t know any better. Everything about me could never be enough to keep you in one place, I remember driving slower so you’d talk a little longer but you didn’t. You just asked me what I was thinking, I held my breath the whole way home. You’ll never know.
3.
Teeth 04:01
You showed your teeth cause I showed my teeth, and I still believe that your bite is worse. You taught me how look for the thorns on all the roses. You taught me how kiss and miss the venom in your mouth. You taught me how to love, you taught me how to love no one but you. And I can’t wash you off my skin, so I let you in. And how can I claim that love is a fleeting emotion cause I still dream of you, and sometimes I ask myself what I would do if I saw you walk in the room. Would I lose myself in the sight of you? Would I drown myself in the thought of you? And I still dream of you and I still want you to want me to and I still hold my breath when they talk, they talk of us, I do. And I want you so bad I dream of you. I dream of you.
4.
Quiet Sounds 03:17
I couldn’t breathe so we picked you up first Cause my best friend knows how you always Calm me down I keep that moment like a picture in my head For when you call and say something that makes me mad. Most days I don’t even hear you speak. I’ll give you some space if you give me a break, I wanna do what I want to But I want you I feel you in the quiet sounds Of breathing in and breathing out You are the ache that’s in my chest You’ve got a face that’ll keep me out of trouble and I’ve got a way of staying undercover, Told you before yeah you gotta know Yeah You got my attention You got my attention
5.
Bed 03:30
I won’t say any words that hurt you, I’m sorry I learned them in the first place, cause I don’t ever mean to make you feel bad for me but lately I feel like a burden. To my friends and my family, Sometimes I don’t wanna talk about it cause everyday I wake up like this is a day that I won’t leave my bed cause all these thoughts weigh to heavy in my head. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that everyone’s still in this for me. And maybe yeah you’re right, I’m not living my life but every time I try I feel the same. And no, I don’t why I turn my blue gold whenever you come around. I hope I’m not making too much noise. I hope I’m not taking up too much of your space that anyone could occupy better.
6.
Anybody 03:56
I don’t really talk cause you don’t really listen, fire where I walk I don’t need your permission, cause I’m not anybody’s girl. Speed up cause I drive a little faster, I like to create my own disasters. Yeah, I know hell like I know your heavens too. You think I live to entertain you, I suppose I like not to need you. Ask me what my vices are baby, they look like you. Sell my soul for a chance to be nobody, believe what they display on your screens. It’s a part of me. So pour me a drink, I don’t need to think honey I wanna pull another drag off your cigarette, I wanna dance in the night. I don’t wanna be anybody. We can make a scene change the whole world baby, something bout the way you move made me dizzy. Tell me not to hold my tongue would you please? Would you please? Say what you mean cause it matters to me, when your dark comes through in everything you do. Everything you do you do it for me, everything you do.
7.
Honeydew 03:13
Yeah I might’ve gotten too drunk last year at your house and yeah I might’ve said a few things that you like but that’s not right cause it won’t last, I’m just an idea in your head and your a floor I can sleep on when I’m sick of my own bed. Honeydew, don’t take it personal cause I love you too, but not the way you want me. I adore you, but not the way you want me to. Honeydew. Blonde hair and blue eyes I love the way that you try, you’re an endless summer and I’m the winter you don’t like. You see my early sunsets and I see your shine but every time we get too close.
8.
I tried to soothe your guilty mind, but you’ve got a conscious that doesn’t lie and you could’ve been better to me. And yeah we never made it to the west coast, but I still dream about it sometimes and then I feel all the words I never said drawl back into my mouth and through my lips and tongue and cheek. I just had to say it now. You make me so sad, I drive you so mad, I’m feeling stupid, you’re feeling so glad. You talk like we won’t be back here in the morning, you fight like we won’t make up in the morning. And yeah I still sing about you sometimes, when I get lost inside my head thinking of all the little things you said. And sometimes I wonder if it still keeps you up at night the way it does to me. I wouldn’t lie, I wouldn’t lie if you asked me. One step ahead of each other, I know you didn’t see. One step ahead of each other, just what you meant to me. Two steps back for me.
9.
Cheap liquor nothing goes quicker when you’re acting like you’re walking on the wine that’s in your hand, I know you’re just here for the show but don’t get me wrong. You’re just like the rest of them, we’re all addicted to a makeshift fix and it just makes it easier to live. Nicotine and tangerines, all summer I spent with you. Chasing the taxis to get anywhere that we want to, you can’t change what’s inside of you no matter how much you want to. You always say what you don’t mean and I always write off my feelings, I’m just no good at these things. I don’t like sweet unless it’s bitter and I can’t love you cause I’m a quitter but I’m subject to change.
10.
Space out in the dark again, I wonder where you’ve been. Probably thinking of the sun again, soaking up all the warmth you never get cause when you’re dark blue it can get cold too. I thought I heard you say, I thought I heard you. Somewhere wondering the halls again, I thought I heard you. Cause when we talk, I’m talking to a ghost. And when you’re gone that’s when I feel you the most. And you won’t let me ever get close, heart on your sleeve but it beats once at most. Call me on the phone again, the clocks tell 3AM. I swear you tell all your secrets then, it’s just like you to go and play pretend. When a snake can’t shed it’s skin, no one sees the pattern hidden within. I hope that you can make it out.

credits

released February 1, 2019

Recorded, mixed, mastered & produced by Eli Strobeck

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Common Ground Collective Los Angeles, California

Artist development company in Los Angeles, CA dedicated to spreading good vibes only.

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